off duty, or cops in a bar
Cop 1:
Shots! We're doin' shots. What are we gettin'. 151?
Cop 2:
Whoa, wait, are you carrying your gun?
Cop 1:
No. Are you?
Cop 2:
No, we can do 151.
baseball insight
Fox Announcer 1:
This inning's moving along at a snail's pace right now.
Fox Announcer 2:
And if you're the pitcher, a snail's pace is the wrong pace.
A1:
A snail's pace is the wrong pace for anyone.
A2:
Except for a snail.
A1:
Yes, except for a snail.
Overheard on the bus, near bellevue
Old Woman:
How's your head today?
Young Man:
Well, my damn vision's came back, so I'm feelin good!
OW:
That's good.
YM:
Hey, look at this. [pulls out a bag of watches]. It's the goddamn president and his wife, Michelle.
OW:
It's beautiful.
YM:
I'll give you a deal. Five dollars. And now you'll know what damn time it is!
OW:
[laughing] Ooooh, if this doesn't work I'll knock you off your bicycle!
